What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 03.07.2025 06:31
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I have no regrets .
He knew the spot.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The Complete Guide To What The Actual Hell Is Going On In Death Stranding - Kotaku
(And it was in our own minds.)
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Human-sized Labubu doll sells for more than $150,000 - BBC
I think the readers, may guess!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And i lived it daily.
Weather makers: How microbes living in the clouds affect our lives - BBC
But ive been too sick for many years..
As i do to all so called friends.?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Resilience spacecraft’s status after moon-landing attempt is unknown - CNN
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Is it possible to permanently quit pornography?
Comes on , in middle age.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But, we were locked up after school.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Pokémon Fan Loses "20 Years Worth Of Data" After Performing Switch 2 Transfer - Nintendo Life
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Protester shot and killed at ‘No Kings’ rally in Utah, police say - AP News
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Mya Lesnar, Daughter of WWE Star Brock, Wins 2025 NCAA Shot Put Championship - Bleacher Report
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
So, i spoilt her more .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Who then, do I blame.?
Why did i forgive my father ?
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I never cut or harmed myself..
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I said to her
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I waited trembling.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She married twice! .
I write beautiful poetry .
My family never makes their pension either.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
All the time i was locked up.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She loved him until the end.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Im dying but, im not bitter.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Ive learnt so much.
When she asked me how she looked .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
She found it foreign!.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
It was going to be , some day.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Put me off passion for life!!
One cannot live in the past .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I was seconnd youngest,
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
She was in good health!
I couldn’t, believe it.
So whats the point in blame.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
What did i know ?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But it wasn’t much.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I will be 64.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
We were not on the streets..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
We all went to grammer schools
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I was 9 years of age.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Would this be the day?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My life is so biszare .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I don,t even have a pension.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
She wouldn,t have been !
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I was scared of men, in general
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I was very sick at this time too.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Was to survive, this bastard.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Im still living with it.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
This is soul school!.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!